Build momentum up to your big goals and balance them out with small, achievable wins. You may have the potential to play varsity, for example, but don't beat yourself up when you fall short as a freshman. Otherwise, you'll keep setting yourself up for disaster and feeding the imposter syndrome. High aspirations and standards for excellence are always encouraged, but you need the self-awareness and self-honesty of knowing your current level of skill in relation to the goal. It keeps the issue "at a distance," so to speak, as you work to separate yourself from negative responses.įailing to reach high standards only reaffirms the voice of the imposter that says, "See, you're not good enough." Yet, it's not your efforts or the goal that's the problem, but the mismatch between the two. ![]() Whatever creative name you apply, making the issue foreign allows you to see it objectively and out of alignment with who you desire to be. In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield called that detachment "Resistance." Others have used the metaphor of the "Elephant and the Rider" to refer to the inner conflict. Labeling and externalizing an inner struggle allows for detachment. ![]() Here are five effective ways to master the monster inside your head: 1. ![]() Highly sensitive individuals and people-pleasers are able, in a warped way, to relieve their fear of criticism from others when they put that criticism on themselves. Those who grew up with highly critical parents unknowingly mirror and internalize the negative talk they received. It's a safety mechanism with good intentions, but unproductive effects. Self-critical thinking steers you away from the unknown and frightening tasks ahead (even though you know growth comes from being stretched and from stepping outside your comfort zone). There are a number of reasons why the negative voice exists:
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